I really do not know! But remember to hold your self together and kids if any involved. It is very important that you do not compare life with before and with others who are complete family. It is also important that you take one day at a time. It is devastating socially / financially /emotionally , specially if your other family and friends also start ignoring you and judge you . MOVING ON is the key.
There are many others out there in just like your situation and you are not the only one. .
It is a way of life and ignore the ones who put you down and intimidate you.
Do pursue Divorce Support Group but definitely help yurself.
Have a great day !!!

I’m looking for information on finding local support groups (not online – but old school church basement stuff) for spouses who need to talk about surviving infidelity.

are groups like this still available?

If it is a specific type of group you are looking for, why not start your own. I am sure there are plenty of men around who need the support you are talking about. There are lots of women’s groups around, but very few men’s groups around. Why not give it a try. Put an add in your local newspaper and see what responses you get. I think it would be a great idea.

Good luck

my self atman would appreciate it.

Buddhists most likely would say anatman, or ‘no-self.’ Meaning, there is no intrinsically existent self that exists beyond the collection of parts that is named "joe." Well, what does that mean? It means that when "your parts" came together, smoking wasn’t part of you. Likewise, you can stop whenever you decide to. One thing you can do is stop buying cigarettes. Another is stop touching cigarettes. Another is not having cigarettes and lighters or matches together in your hands. Another is not putting dry cigarettes in your mouth. Another is doing something else when you feel you "have" to smoke a cigarette. If any of these aren’t cutting it for you, think about this. If you can not smoke for six to eight hours (say, while sleeping) then there is nothing preventing you from stopping anytime you decide to stop. Just don’t do it. Further, you can look at an image of the Conqueror Shakyamuni Buddha and try though you might, you will not see a cigarette anywhere near his hands or mouth. That you would call yourself a Buddhist means you seek refuge in not only the Teacher but what he taught and that true paths would lead to cessation; so, if you would want to stop hitting your thumb with a hammer, you would first have to move your thumb. Or, put down the hammer. Or, not have your finger near where the hammer strikes. Hitting your finger with a hammer is a result of these other conditions all being present – removing any one of them removes the result. Likewise, if you remove the cigarettes you can’t smoke them. In more subtle analysis, there are no cigarettes; there is just your craving. Let the last cigarette you smoked be your last cigarette. Just don’t do it. Sit down and meditate for five minutes instead. If you used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day – and instead now meditate for five minutes twenty times a day, you would be well on your way to developing a fairly strong mindfulness which could be directed at any virtuous object of observation at will and then, you would be well on your way – away from smoking and into something useful like Dharma practice. Best wishes to you! (By the way, I used to smoke like a fish, so it can be done!)

My husband of 7 yrs has recently "come out of the closet" and we are in the middle of a divorce. I am seeing a counselor and on medication, but feel like I need to speak to people on a daily basis just to get out of bed. We have two children who are caught in the middle and don’t know the truth about their dad. Every day I get slammed with more bad news and discouragement that I find it hard to get out of bed for fear of what the day might bring. I called on support group that I found on line but they said that they only meet for death purposes. Is there a support group for people going through a divorce or even more specific to my cause in Duluth, Minnesota? Please advise.

I am a charter member of Beginning Experience. They are a support group for people who are separated, widowed, divorced, or lost a loved one. They are a fantastic organization. They teach you how to get your life back and use the tools from within. Please check them out.

Has anyone had a successful infidelity survival story?

Yes, It does require a bit of patience and a good understanding between partners. Some relationships are based on open ended situations where the partners are not mutually exclusinve. This has tobe worked out well ahead of any living together or affermation of the relationship.

If one partner is unfaithful BUT both want it to remain intact, there has to be a lost of very honest and sincere discussion about what and how the transgression came to pass.

If jealousy exists in the relationship two things are sure to happen – There will be transgressions and eventually the relationship wll break up. Jealousy in a clear basis for lack of trust. That leads to interrogations, arguements and other impositions of one person on the other. That will not work.

Basically, the unfaithful person has to acknowledge that they made a mistake – assumning the wish to continue the realtionship and will maintain a commitment not to do it again.

If it does happen a second – or more – time, than you have to decide whether to keepp the relationship together knowing that you partner is weak and liable to be unfaithful. Remember something else. Even if a person is unfaithful to the realtionship, the nig questions is – do they came "Home". If the do, without being chased, then there is definite desire to maintain the relationship. Build on that and don’t worry about anything else.

I had total neck,knee,shoulder surgeries done over the past 7yrs with very little breaks from major pain. My latest op was my knee replacement done last Sept. I’m really stressed out from all these ops. can’t sleep good anymore,nerves are on edge all the time. Does anyone have a suggestion to esae my stress levels somewhat? Any advise would be very helpful at this point.
I would also like to add that I have developed Diabetes Beginning stages of it from so many surgeries in such a short time

What does this have to do with diabetes???

THE 1ST YEAR OF MARRIAGE SETS THE TONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TOGETHER! Do these and most of the great advice in other answers and you’ll be fine:
**Notice the small stuff- pay attention to the little things in each other
**Take off your mask– be honest, real, sincere and open
**Make "we" or "us" the priority– diminish the "I" part
**Make your partner feel liked and loved– show and speak affectionately, have a sense of humor, wrestle and play in the mud, eat Oreo cookies and ice cream together
**Create safe spaces- make it safe for your partner to be open and honest, don’t judge or be critical unnecessarily
**Support each other- be aware of each others sensitive spots and pains, have his/her back
**Tend to the fire– need I say more
**Allow for separateness also- give each other space and time alone, especially when requested
**Always fight fair– screaming/yelling, repeated arguments that go nowhere, picking fights, throwing up old issues, etc., damage goodwill
**never go to sleep angry
**Learn to compromise, forgive and reach out when necessary…. and always, always give 100%, not 50/50
** And remember, "it ain’t always about you!" There will be times when your partner is agitated, it may have nothing to do with you, so don’t personalize all issues as being your cause or related to you

And finally, the key to a good marriage is much, much more than good communication, this is only the beginning and does not solve all issues. Much of what is listed above is beyond communication.

lately i have been giving a lot of relationship advice to people and it seems to be helping them but when it comes to figuring out what to do about my own relationships or lack there of I’m lost…i want to be with some one but its really complicated…i don’t know what to do…and i also don’t have very much experience but some how i can help other people…i don’t get it

Haha, I do it too.

I’ve answered about 400 questions in the Singles/Dating catagory here, and I help friends with this type of thing as well….

Yet I can’t decide what to do when it comes to my own situation. Annoying isn’t it? I wonder what causes it!

A great discussion in a support group for divorced men. From the late 70’s.

Duration : 0:3:23

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http://www.therelationshipgym.com/index.htm This video answers the number one question all couple’s ask about an affair.

Duration : 0:1:55

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